Lately, life has been handing me these wild “oh shit, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be” moments. The kind that smack you in the face (in a good way) and make everything go quiet for a second.
A lot of these moments have shown up at shows, in random conversations, and even in tiny everyday choices – like what I put on TV in the background or what chair I sit in to write. It all feels connected somehow: music, work, rest, play, and this version of me that’s finally doing things for the right reasons.
This is my little recap of that season:
- Zingara and the dream that keeps chasing me
- A night with Peekaboo
- Following my whimsy with a ridiculous soap opera
- Stepping back into full‑time training
- And yes… the best damn chair I’ve ever owned
Zingara: Teeth, Dreams & Being Fully Present
My story with Zingara actually started at Lost Lands.
I went to her Dreams and Manifestations class, just curious and kind of open to whatever came up. At one point she mentioned a recurring dream she has about her teeth falling out.
My ears instantly perked up.
That’s the only recurring dream I’ve ever had in my life. Like, of all dreams… that one. Hearing her casually say it out loud felt like the universe poking me in the ribs, like, “You paying attention?”
Fast‑forward to recently: I went to see her play a show, and somehow, the universe lined things up again and I was lucky enough to meet her one more time.
I told her about where I’ve been at mentally. I mentioned how I’ve been having these “oh shit” moments, where life kind of smacks you and you suddenly see so clearly where you’re supposed to be. I asked her:
“When was the last time life smacked you in the face like that and you just knew you were supposed to be where you’re at?”
She laughed, looked me dead in the eyes, and said:
“I’m having that moment right now.
Feels good to be present, ya? Welcome.”
Whew. This woman is a magical soul. and I feel blessed to learn from her.
I swear, every time I’ve gotten to vibe with this woman, I walk away with something I needed but never expected. It’s always random, always unplanned, always such a pleasure. She reminds me what it feels like to be fully present and actually in my life, not just watching it go by.
Peekaboo: Front Rail, Soft Hearts & Gentle Realizations
I’d been looking forward to the Peekaboo show for a while. I really appreciate him as a DJ, so there was this excited, buzzy energy going in – like finally getting to see someone live whose sound you already trust.
Walking into the venue, I felt open. Not desperate for some huge life-changing moment, just genuinely excited to be there, to hear what he’d do with the room, the crowd, the night.
My Favorite Moments From His Set
One of the highlights for me was ending up right in front of his deck for a bit.
I didn’t push my way up; I kind of got carried there. The crowd organically opened and gently pulled me closer, and suddenly I was up front for a moment, eyes on him, speakers in my chest, watching him actually work.
I’m always so curious about what DJs are doing behind the decks: the little adjustments, the concentration, the way they move when they’re deep in flow. Being that close, even just for a short part of the night, felt like getting a peek behind the curtain. Not in a technical way, but in a “wow, this is a real human channeling a whole room of people right now” kind of way.
The Crowd, the Vibes & a New Friend
The crowd that night was kind.
That’s the word that keeps coming up when I think about it. No harshness, no weird energy. Just loving, vibey, friendly people who were there to enjoy themselves and each other.
At some point, I crossed paths with another girl who had the same energy I was putting out: open, warm, just down to connect. We started talking, laughed, vibed, and before I knew it, we were exchanging info and making loose plans to meet up at our next show.
We ended up missing Alleycvt that next meetup but honestly, that just turned into a future promise: soon. There was something sweet about that too. Not everything has to happen all at once. Some things get to be “coming soon” in my story.
Internally, I realized how much I’ve shifted. Instead of hiding in the back or feeling out of place, I felt like I belonged there. Present in my body, open in my heart, curious about the people around me, and genuinely happy to share space with whoever life sat next to me.
For me, nights like this aren’t just about the music. They’re those little checkpoints where I remember:
- I like who I’m becoming
- I’m allowed to have fun
- And I’m allowed to be obsessed with art that shakes my soul a little
Following My Whimsy: Passions, Background Noise & Letting Myself Enjoy Things
Outside of shows, another theme that’s been popping up for me is: following my whimsy.
Recently, I stumbled back into a soap opera that a lot of millennials know.
Passions.
And when I say “stumbled,” I mean I found a user online who has all the episodes, and it felt like uncovering some weird nostalgic treasure chest.
Now I’ll just put Passions on in the background while I do my writing exercises.
It’s ridiculous. It’s dramatic. It’s over the top. And it’s perfect.
There’s something really healing, honestly, about letting myself enjoy something just because it delights my brain, even if it’s “silly” or “extra” or not productive. It keeps my nervous system soft while I do the deeper work. It reminds me I’m allowed to play, even while I’m building my life.
The Criss Cross Chair: My Body’s New Favorite Place
Next character in my little alignment story: my chair.
I bought a criss cross chair recently, and I’m not kidding when I say:
This is the best seat I’ve ever had.
Plain and simple.
I love sitting cross‑legged, always have, but most chairs are not built for that. This one is. It feels like my body finally has a place that matches how I naturally like to sit and exist.
It’s where I:
- Write
- Watch Passions
- Plan workouts and update my client’s files
- Daydream about what’s next
It seems like such a small thing, but comfort changes how open I feel. When my body is supported, my mind softens. And when my mind softens, everything feels more possible.
Working Full Time as a Trainer vs. Training Myself
This has been a big one.
For a while, there was a disconnect between working as a trainer and actually training myself. I’ve poured so much energy into helping other people get stronger, healthier, and more confident but I wasn’t always giving that same energy back to my own body and growth.
Now, something has shifted.
I’m officially back in my role of handling both:
- Working full time as a personal trainer
- Showing up consistently to train myself
And honestly? I feel alive.
I’m clearer than ever about why I’m doing this. I’m not chasing it for the wrong reasons, or from a place of pressure or proving myself. I feel ready for a real training season again for all the right reasons this time.
For me.
On top of that, I’m booked out for the next two weeks. My schedule is full, my energy feels aligned, and my work is finally matching the version of myself I’ve been growing into.
It’s not just about:
- Building programs
- Counting reps
- Tracking progress
It’s about:
- Leading by example
- Honoring my own body as much as I honor my clients’
- Remembering that this is the life I once wished I had
And now I’m living it.
Where It All Meets
Zingara’s words about being present.
The bass at a Peekaboo show.
A ridiculous soap opera in the background.
A criss cross chair that lets me sit how I actually want to sit.
A calendar full of clients and a body I’m finally prioritizing again.
All of it feels like one big, ongoing conversation with my life:
“You’re here. You’re aligned. Keep going.”
I’m learning to trust the weird little nudges. Dreams about teeth falling out (Which Zingara actually told me the answer to what this dream means btw….!!! ITS a TRIP – the solution is to speak up) , nostalgic TV, random chairs, bass drops, and all. Because, apparently, this is how my path talks to me.
And I’m finally listening. My inner child has been thanking me for allowing her to be creative again.
My Inner teenager has softened with the reemergence of PASSIONS.
BUT I DID discover I learned a LOT of terrible relationship ideals from this show. As a ND individual, I realized I never had a good example of what healthy love was so I actually modeled it off of shows I watched……
Incredibly toxic. and now my preferences were understood for the time.
NEXT EPISODE……. xoxo
Swipe Left On Perfection 
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