Swipe Left On Perfection

We are told that live music is a “community experience” – a shared space defined by peace, love, unity, and respect. But after reflecting on my recent travels: from the orchestrated care of the BTS Arirang tour to the dehumanizing logistical collapse at Griztronics, I’ve realized that the industry is fundamentally broken. There is a massive divide between organizers who view us as guests to be protected and those who view us as liabilities to be processed, managed through fear, and left to fend for ourselves.
It is time to stop romanticizing the “festival grind.” When the “grind” involves systemic negligence and a total disregard for human dignity, it isn’t an adventure; it’s an exploitation of the people who make these events possible.

The Spectrum of Agency: Lessons from the Road

My recent experiences have been a masterclass in learning what I will no longer tolerate.

• The EDC Lessons: A Lesson in Boundaries. My experience at EDC was my turning point. While the variety of acts was top-tier, the environment was a nightmare of lost autonomy. I’m a professional who values structure and cleanliness, but I was forced into a communal living situation where my boundaries were non-existent. The shared tent was treated like a free-for-all; my only source to self medicate was being used without consent while I slept, and the shared food supply was obstructed by others’ clutter. “BUT ITS FOR EVERYONE” is only a statement when you pile your belongings in front of it like you’re protecting a castle. The belongings and trash creating a moat around the supply.
• Most frustratingly, I felt interrupted and rushed when I wanted to enjoy a set by a friend who wanted a bathroom tagalong. They started in a frenzy to grab my things so we could move. It’s known I struggle with transitions from one task to another. BUT for them to to walk 20 feet, after grabbing my things, decide they actually wanted to stay while now I have to pee, to find out they didn’t grab all of my things as they have left behind a pashmina I loved; abandoned in the chaos as the things they grabbed were laying on top of the pash. After all the squabbling this trip, paying to be smashed uncomfortable with unnecessary amounts of packing, in a backseat, living in a room too filled with trash, like their belongings exploded. No ability to pick up as you go along. No consideration for a SHARED space. I think the cake topper was asking me to leave a space I paid into while we were already tensioned and arguing so they could have sex was insulting and immature, especially given I was collecting my things to go leave at that very moment. Needless to say, if you’re single or keep different schedules like sleep, don’t stay with couples. It never works out. Or they could have easily hit the showers at a festival ya know? Telling someone else to leave so you can have privacy is kinda like “creating a boundary” by telling someone else what to do instead of being the person to adjust for your needs. The problem they had was me saying the truth out loud. “So you want the space available so ya’ll can fuck?” was direct. And struck a nerve. Apparently, my tone or words used became the focus over the weirdness of the request actually spoken. But that’s because when you approach it like “we just need to have a talk and it’s not about you….privacy…. “, All the skirting around the issue, I saw the pattern and asked the question. Someone’s uncomfortable nature to discuss their needs and wants I absolutely can understand, but draw the line at getting upset with me for it. And then after the fact, your other friend TELLS you he just wanted alone time to be intimate, not only were they upset with you because you called out the truth, their statement or inability to be honest in their request, it caused you to no longer believe anything said from their mouth.
• I confronted my friend about their rushing and I explained my mentally hit burnout. Missed the set I wanted to see because I couldn’t function anymore. Not a choice but a symptom of the continued piled stress. I went back to my tent, tried to be alone and got passive aggressive texts about how they rebought my pash and that there wasn’t an issue which completely glossed over the big picture.
• The ultimate breaking point was the resentment from them, my ride home, who took their own inability to pack a car out on me, leaving their partner to drive me unknowing to a place I didn’t agree to go, to be unsure whether or not I would actually make it home. They dropped off their belongings in a hotel and picked up their boyfriend who they left at the venue to take me home…. They were cold on the way out and at this point, there couldn’t be any repair. I felt like a hostage simply because I had the audacity to adhere to our original plan of getting home for work.
• The Stanford Reliability: BTS at Stanford was the baseline for competence. No fuss, no drama. The commitment to providing extra public transport to ensure fans got home safely was the bare minimum of human respect. It allowed me to show up, enjoy the show, and leave without the feeling that I was fighting for my survival.
• The Gorge (Griztronics) Failure: This was institutional negligence. Forcing people to dump water before sitting in hours of heat, seizing labeled prescription medication, and policing public urination while creating a 7-hour bottleneck is not “security.” It is predatory overreach. The cruelty of the Gorge was palpable. Yet, despite the organizers’ incompetence, the fans themselves were a testament to the community: we cleaned up after ourselves, a stark contrast to the way the venue treated us.

The Contrast: The Gold Standard in Vegas

Compare the “fuckassery” at the Gorge to the BTS Arirang tour at Allegiant Stadium. The difference in philosophy was night and day. In Vegas, they treated us like human beings:

• Proactive Care: They didn’t wait for emergencies; they had misting fans, biodegradable cups, and staff actively handing out bottled water.
• Respect for Human Flow: They moved us into shaded areas and let us into the venue early, acknowledging that our physical safety was more important than their profit margins.
• A Philosophy of Stewardship: BTS fans operate under a specific, beautiful philosophy: we are seven members, and we leave the place better than we found it by picking up seven pieces of trash. In Vegas, this collective responsibility meant the venue stayed clean because the fans cared.

My New Mandate: The “Exit Strategy”

These experiences have forced me to re-evaluate my life. I’ve learned that when I cede control of my logistics—my transport, my hydration, my ability to walk away—I am putting my nervous system at the mercy of people who, quite frankly, do not care about me.
After the passive-aggressiveness following EDC, and the financial and emotional fallout of shifting camping plans for Griztronics, I made a choice. I decided to pull the plug. I got a new phone, I deleted my contacts, and I wiped my slate clean. I realized that the “friendship” I was maintaining was actually costing me my peace of mind. The cost of a lost pashmina and the stress of a hostage-like ride home was far too high—so I paid the price of ending the friendship instead.
My New Rules for Live Music:

1. I control my transport. If I cannot leave the second my nervous system hits its limit, I am not going. I will never again be dependent on someone else’s schedule or a broken transit system.
2. I control my environment. I will not share communal spaces that compromise my health or my ability to manage my own belongings and nutrition.
3. My peace is the priority. If a venue cannot guarantee basic human dignity—access to water, reasonable wait times, and respect for my autonomy—they do not deserve my money.
   The industry loves to talk about “Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect.” But it’s time they start practicing it. If they can’t handle the basics of keeping us alive and comfortable, then the true “disaster” isn’t the event logistics—it’s the people who run the show. I am reclaiming my time, my space, and my sanity. And from here on out, I’m the only one in the driver’s seat.

I was raised in an inconsistent and sometimes chaotic environment. and learned that maybe people in my past that told me I looked at them happily like there was no problem in the way they treated me when they knew it was far from fair, kind only because I hadn’t experienced good treatment may be more accurate than I gave them credit for.

Maybe I didn’t have much to compare their treatment to. Maybe I leaned heavily on the good traits and didn’t take into account the bad isn’t supposed to be equal or even be balanced.

And now it can’t be unseen.

GrIzTronics was the worst I’ve ever been treated at a venue. And now I know what healthy vs unhealthy standards for a festival are. While I acknowledge the BTS dates are single date events, I raise the element that LOST LANDS, my first festival, would NEVER have pulled any of the shit GrIzTronics did.

I will NOT support ANY venue that Live Nation OWNS.

Thank you.

That being said, I do appreciate Jesse and Grant powering through the night to offer us returns on our camping experience BUT that is really bare minimum. This didn’t come without some backlash prior. Subtronics doing a pop up set inside camp while his fans are roasting in line because of the logistics mismanagement. Tone deaf. Absolutely. Grant boasting on IG about his EDC crowd while his fans are stuck being burned in a 12+ hour camp line for some. Kind of a dick move. So I’m still on the fence on how this was handled and what my support it moving forward. Cautious I suppose. They’re humans who make mistakes too and I’ve never seen anything else that would make me pull support or disapprove. I think I would treat this as anyone healthy would. I’ve never had an issue with anything these men have done for their shows, except maybe the overcharging for M+G to get a group photo. I think for me, the part that gives a false flag is it’s being expressed as a “meet and greet” BUT really what Jesse has done is allowed people to buy into his soundcheck. BUT that’s within their right to do, their prerogative. The Language used for this isn’t accurate for what is offered. But we don’t have to pay for that. It’s not forced. Unlike the unhealthy experience we had with Live Nation and The gorge. Or elements of EDC. We do NOT have to pay for mistreatment that could have been avoided with actual care.