Swipe Left On Perfection

I carry grief I never asked to hold,
For a love I didn’t want to watch grow cold.
I stood prepared to take you as you were;
The brilliant moments and the broken blur.
I wanted all your flaws, but you declined,
Leaving a trail of vague intent behind.
You didn’t know what you were looking for,
So you hid pieces of yourself behind a door.
I couldn’t find the words to speak my pain,
Or tell you I was standing in the rain.
Because when things grew hard and inconvenient,
You chose retreat over remaining lenient.
The trust I offered slowly slipped away,
With every time you couldn’t bridge the fray.
My chest still aches from healing what I planned,
A love I truly thought would firmly stand.
I needed someone who could read the signs,
When I was overloaded at the lines.
Who knew my honesty was no attack,
Who wouldn’t take it personally and step back.
I needed real repair, a grounded space,
Where actions met the values claimed in place.
I still think of you. I hope the day arrives
When this heavy sorrow finally subsides.
But then I trace the truth of how it lay:
You only wanted me to push you away.
And so I keep my distance, though it’s rough,
And slowly learn to let it be enough.
I carry the apology of better behavior,
And let my own peace be my steady savior.